L'abus sexuel sur enfants, peu importe sa forme, est une oeuvre de mort. (Child sexual abuse, whatever its form, is a work of death.)Jean-Marc Sauvé
For as long as I can remember child sexual abuse has been taboo. In care and protection like schools or police, in power like politics or religion, in the justice system, … The unspeakability of the subject is interwoven in our social entertainment systems like sports or artistry.
Not speaking of incest, child sexual abuse in the family sphere, is a matter of self preservation. Speaking of it is an act of daring to look death in the eye. The omerta surrounding Child Sexual Abuse runs through society as a whole. Like in the former DDR when it was impossible to entrust even your partner or children with the idea to flee to the West.
I invite you to take the option of a journey to stand still on the subject for the blink of a moment. If your modern civilised behaviour dares to allow for your nut-in-stomach courage to do so, look it in the eye. For only a seemingly dying breath, so the confrontation with your denial of its existence does not weigh on your livelihoods.
In our indoctrinated reaction pointing to men as being the sole possible perpetrators, do you naturally, instinctively, think a mother can do harm to her child?
The impossibility of child sexual abuse in the family sphere
The answer is: No way; impossible.
A mother carried her child for 9 months, and then nurtures it. There is this universally prescribed bond which makes for the impossibility of a mother to harm her own child. Just like we ourselves have been nurtured by our mothers and do not dare to speak openly about her, shortcomings, shall we say? Should anyone have been victim of abuse by their mother, it's been taught, often the hard way been indoctrinated since birth, that mothers can only love their children to bits.
We are set, shaped, in these ways and beliefs, determining mothers can't do harm to their child. And if they do harm their children, it is us seeing it, pointing to it, having a problem.
Women are judged as being jealous of a mother should they dare to point to the mother doing wrong to her child.
Men daring to point to a mother's wrongdoing towards her child are incompetent macho son's of their dads at best, if they are lucky. They are most often judged as being violently women demonising misogynists when they dare point to women wrongdoing a child.
And if a mother is found unambiguously guilty of doing severe harm to her child, she's protected by society's ruling, dictating her behaviour is a consequence of patriarchy. That she first and foremost, and only by extension of consequence her child, is victim of the men made world.
You then hear society cry out in sync women aren't vulnerable, but that it is men who are abusers, and in any case accountable for it all.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. This blog gets the proverbial pants on!
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